Couples counseling is insight-oriented therapy that focuses on helping people improve their intimate relationships. The goal of couples’ work can include better communication, stronger intimacy and connection, repair after a betrayal, or just to stop arguing so much! 

Many couples come to counseling after a crisis or a breaking point. There may have been a breach of trust or an escalation of negative behavior. Other couples are struggling with parenting issues, conflicts with in-laws, or sex. Many couples sense things have been slowly deteriorating, and now they wonder if this relationship will survive. Deciding to seek treatment as a couple can feel scary. If you are curious if couples counseling is for you but are hesitant, here are some thoughts that may encourage you to take the next step. 

Seeking treatment as a couple is vulnerable. You and your partner have often reached an extremely low point in your relationship. There have been challenges and emotional injuries. You can feel very exposed the first time you meet with a couples counselor. For anyone familiar with individual therapy, this can feel very different. Your therapist likely has never met your partner. When describing your relationship, you portray your partner through your lens of hurt. With both partners in the room, it’s harder to maintain your narrative.

And seeking treatment is hard. It’s not easy to find time and willingly plan to have difficult conversations after a long day at the office or in the middle of a busy day. There will be sessions where you leave feeling worse than when you arrived. One person often pushes for therapy, and it can feel like the other is being dragged. However, starting therapy might be the first thing that you and your partner have done for yourselves in a long time. Coming with an open mind and heart can make the difficult work a bit easier. 

But seeking treatment is hopeful. Working with a clinician can help you & your partner identify how behaviors elicit responses to create a dynamic that often feels impossible to escape. Identifying these patterns can be the first step to making change. There are no guarantees in couples counseling. But over time, if you approach the process with curiosity and non-judgment, you can learn about yourself and start seeing each other in brand new ways. 

If you are thinking about couples counseling or have more questions, reach out to us at hello@mkimoconnor. Let’s talk.