Research has proven that common punishment approaches, such as “no tablet for a week” or “go to your room to think about what you’ve done” are simply not effective at reducing problem behaviors. It is for this reason that I love teaching families about the make-it-right approach.
The "Make it Right" Approach
The make-it-right approach is rooted in restorative justice approaches, which are scientifically proven to increase accountability, boost self-esteem, and enhance connectivity within the family unit. So how does it work? After a child engages in a problem behavior and has had time to cool off, the caregiver will engage the child and ask how can we make it right? This is where creativity and collaboration come in, where the child and caregiver come up with a plan together to make up for the problem behavior.
Examples of "Make it Right" Parenting
The key is to have the restorative piece align with the problem behavior. For instance, if a kid continually jumps on the couch when it is a rule to not jump on the couch, the child can make it right by vacuuming the couch with the parent or fluffing the pillows together. Another example is if a child hits their sibling, they can make it right by playing a game of the sibling’s choice for 15 minutes.
I have found that this approach leads to more meaningful behavior reform and connection between family members. Most importantly, it often boosts the child's sense of self-esteem and efficacy after they make it right.